


what a twat

by starsatellite



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, tw for brief sexual assault and blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-03
Updated: 2016-10-03
Packaged: 2018-08-19 05:40:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8192281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsatellite/pseuds/starsatellite
Summary: Dan's on a terrible date, and wishes that it was instead with the waiter serving him instead of the prick in front of him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> tw for a brief mention of sexual assault but he gets his ass kicked dont worry :)

If there was one thing that PJ was bad at, it was setting Dan up on blind dates. He claimed that his friend was not fine sitting at home crying into a box of doughnuts every night and needed to try and find other people, and insisted that he could help. So far, he's set Dan up on three dates that turned out to be absolutely terrible; which is no exaggeration. The pricks had paid more attention to their phones then they did to Dan for starters, all they cared to talk about was themselves, and one even had the nerve to expect to get into Dan's pants if he paid and gave him a ride home.

So obviously, Dan wasn't exactly surprised when this date was going the same way and he had been sitting for barely a minute. The guy, Nick apparently, had his hair slicked back Pidgey style and Dan couldn't miss the way he eyed him up and down. Sure, in a way he was flattered that he looked nice enough in his button up to be stared at like that but the way that Nick looked at him made him want to roll his eyes. PJ set the two up in a local restaurant in London, that luckily wasn't fancy enough to be expensive. Dan expected for this date to be just the same as the last ones, and his suspicions weren't wrong. He figured that out pretty quickly.

Nick's extreme, and frankly annoying, bragging about finishing college was brought to a quick halt when their waiter approached. Dan wasn't even able to get a word in. He was thankful that they were approached, happy to be saved for even a minute. But he suddenly felt his mouth become dry when looking up and seeing who would be serving them.

Sure, Nick was attractive. But for some reason, Dan felt himself oddly more attracted to the smiling servant standing before him. He was seriously hot. That wasn't even the perfect word that would describe him. He had pretty blue eyes and hair that Dan secretly wanted to make fun of for looking like an emo, and Dan only felt so much more attracted to him when he spoke. His voice was a bit lower then he expected to be and had a hint of a Northern accent in it. "Hello! I'm Phil and I'll be your waiter today. So, can I start you two off with some drinks?"

Dan could barely hear Nick rattle off about what drink he wanted and how many ice cubes exactly that he wanted in it. His heart thudded in his chest when Phil turned to him with the same kind smile and asked him what he would like. "Just a water, please," he said softly, ducking his head when Phil nodded and promised he'd be back in a flash before prancing off.

"So, as I was saying - "

Dan wanted to slam his head on the table. He had honestly considered doing so for a moment actually and hoped that doing so would result in a deep coma that Nick would be unable to wake him up from with his annoying voice. At least there, he'd be able to dream that he was on a better date with their waiter instead of this narcissistic twat sitting in front of him. Trying to look interested, Dan rested his hand on his chin and smiled and nodded whenever he felt was needed as Nick somehow managed to continue talking while looking at his menu until a few minutes later when Phil came back with their two cold drinks. 

"Are you ready to order, or would you like some more time?" Phil questioned after setting the glasses down. He seemed upbeat and happy, and was giving Dan a positive feeling. It was very unlike the feeling that Nick was giving him, but he liked it.

"We're ready," Nick replied quickly, despite the fact that Dan hadn't gotten a chance to even look at the menu due to his date wouldn't stop talking. He stated, somewhat rudely, that he wanted a steak that better be medium rare along with some side dish. Before Dan could cut in and ask for whatever, because he wasn't going to be able to sit here much longer, Nick had cut in and answered for him. "And he'll have the salad."

There was nothing more that Dan wanted then to hide under the table. Not only did he feel that, but he was humiliated. Nick tried to make the situation better by stating that he could see some chub on Dan, which only made his cheeks flare a bright red. God, he just wanted to die right now. He wanted a black hole in the ground to suck him up. He looked up to see Phil, who was looking back at him with a concerned gaze. He even seemed to also be shocked by the others very much not needed comment. "I'm fine with the salad," he murmured quietly, moving to cross his arms over his chest in defense. He didn't want to look down at his body and see what Nick saw; chubby thighs and a bloated tummy. All Dan wanted to do was get up and leave, but he promised PJ that he'd give this one a try. Not that this guys' rude ass deserved it, but he still sucked in a breath to calm down and decided to try and keep that promise.

"You're not really offended by a small comment like that, are you?" Nick asked. Dan was sure that he was trying to come off as polite but instead pissed him off even more. He had the nerve to "apologize" after making a crude comment like that, about something that Dan had terrible struggles, secret and bad self-esteem issues over. He wanted to call Nick out on being so cruel, but instead he shook his head with his lips pressed together tightly in annoyance. The response seemed to please Nick, as a smile was brought to his face. "Good. I just thought that you would like to know."

From there, as they both waited for their food, everything only got worse. Dan never thought he'd be this bored out of his mind. In a way, he preferred that Nick would stop talking and look at his phone like the others did. He must have gotten a kick out of embarrassing Dan, as he rudely continued to question as to why Dan dropped out of law school and even commented that he wasn't surprised considering what he assumed to be Dan's IQ. If anything, he was only more angry now. He was just about getting ready to storm out so he could go back to crying into boxes of junk food while watching something on Netflix when the only positive person in this situation approached, holding onto their plates of food. He could see how tense Phil was when setting the plate in front of Nick but saw that he smiled when looking at him as he set the plate of salad in front of him. Dan tried to smile back, but seeing the pile of lettuce in front of him didn't make how he felt any better. It only reminded him of what the dick across from him had stated, which started bringing down his mood even more.

While Nick droned on, taking large bites from his juicy meat, Dan picked at the watery food on his plate and took hesitant bites now and then as he nodded along. He was currently talking about how much money his daddy makes for being successful. He tried to smile and pay attention, he really did, but Dan was actually counting down the minutes until this date ended so he'd never have to see this prick ever again. He tried to think about how he was going to continuously tell PJ, that he's never going to be doing anything like this again. What made this bad date worse was that Nick had ordered a bottle of wine and seemed disappointed that Dan didn't want any. Luckily, Nick wasn't a lightweight, so nothing really changed other then the fact he seemed to be more honest now.

"Can I get either of you a refill or anything else?" Phil questioned politely, approaching the table. He tried not to notice that Nick's plate was almost empty, while Dan's was still full but couldn't help it. He could tell that the stranger was only ready to get the hell out of here and he couldn't blame him for wanting that. From what he had already seen and heard, his date was an ass.

"No. Nothing," Nick snapped a bit rudely. As much of a jerk that he was, he wasn't blind. He saw the way that his date, Dan, smiled when their waiter Phil showed up and how quiet he became once more when he left the table. He didn't even realize, or maybe care, that he was being a complete dick to both his date and the waiter.

"Actually, may I get a refill?" Dan asked softly, handing his empty glass to Phil. Phil bounced off after taking the glass after stating; "of course!" He watched after him as he left longingly, ignoring Nick once more, until the waiter with pretty blue eyes eventually came back with his glass of water. Finally, Nick had enough. He requested for the check, completely forgetting about dessert. In his mind, he was ready to have his own dessert at home.

As far as Dan was concerned, the date was over. As any person who saw a hot guy in public and then had to be separated, he felt a twitch of sadness thinking he'd never see Phil again but at this point was so overcome with the gratefulness that he'd never have to see this douchebag again. After Nick paid, signing the check and not left a tip (to which Dan may have left ten pounds when he wasn't looking), they left. "So, can I give you a ride home?" Nick questioned once they exited.

Silently, Dan shrugged. He didn't want to spend any longer with his date for the night, but his apartment was pretty far and it was late after all. He'd take a ride over having to walk home in this time of night. He just wished the offer was coming from someone else. "I guess. Sure," he responded, letting Nick lead him to where his car was parked.

Nick took it the wrong way. His hand rested, more like gripped, the curve of Dan's back, right above his bum. Dan felt uncomfortable, and was considering just speaking up and walking home instead, up until the hand wandered down farther until it was fully groping him. Dan felt sick, not only that, but also now majorly angry. Even more then he was before. Who the hell does he think he is? First, he insults him, he treats him like a toy during dinner, and now he's going to expect something from him? With these angry thoughts in mind, Dan yanked away from the grip.

"Dude, what is with you?" Nick demanded to know. He was offended at the rejection, like he couldn't believe someone wouldn't want him. When Dan gave him an angry, but questioning, gaze, he rolled his eyes in response. "I bought you dinner and spent an entire night with you. What more do you want? Don't tell me you're a prude," he spat out rudely.

By now, Dan was fuming. "Are you actually fucking serious?" He demanded to know. It was like he was finally getting all the anger off of his chest. "You are such a twat. I don't owe you anything, you rude prick," he retorted.

But Nick wasn't taking no for an answer, not yet, anyways. He took one threatening step forward, now suddenly forcing Dan back to the wall. Dan could smell the wine on his breath, even though Nick seemed sober. "You're not a prude," Nick hissed out. "I can tell that much. You're probably a whore in bed, I bet you would make me feel so good.." His hands were wandering, one sliding up Dan's shirt and the other playing with the button of his jeans.

Overcome with anger, and the fear of what Nick was capable, Dan did the only thing that he could do because he wasn't listening to the "No's!". With both hands, he grabbed Nick's shoulders before swinging his head back and forward, cracking it against Nick's face. He heard a wail of pain from the other, who stumbled back in shock, clutching his bleeding nose. Dan didn't feel any pity for him - he didn't care about the pain he felt, because the anger was greater.  
Shaking with because of that same anger, Dan glared at him harshly. "Don't you ever come near me again, or I'll cut off your dick, you fucking pig!" He shouted. He didn't care now about how dark it was, nobody around could be worse then who he was in front of. That was the last he saw of Nick, because he blocked out all the stupid slurs being thrown his way as he stomped his way down the street until he couldn't hear it anymore. That was, until, he heard footsteps behind him.

Dan suddenly whirled around, fists balled up at his sides and ready to swing due to thinking that it was the same pig who he headbutted not to long ago. Instead, he was met with kind blue eyes and a beautiful smile. He immediately blushed a bright pink and unclenched his fingers at the sight, unable to find any words to greet Phil with.

Jokingly, Phil held up his hands in defeat. "I come in peace," he promised with a short laugh. "I saw how you handled that dick out there. Was going to swoop in and save the day like a hero," he admitted before continuing. "But you managed to take care of yourself." It wasn't a lie either. Phil was just walking out after finishing his shift, as Dan and Nick were his last table, when he saw the struggle unfold. He was about to step in, not going to just stand there and witness it, when he saw Dan suddenly swing his head against Nick's and had mentally cheered him on. He was so startled by it in fact, that he couldn't even move for a few seconds before realizing Dan was walking away. He had to chase after him, he couldn't get a pair of warm brown eyes out of his head.

"He deserved it," Dan said honestly. He stuck out his hand, to which Phil had gently gripped and shook politely. "My name is Dan," he introduced. "That dickhead was someone who I was set up with on a blind date by my friend."

Scoffing, Phil shook his head. "You deserve so much better," he informed him. He remembered what comment that Dan's date had rudely made about his weight, which was not only wrong but also very uncalled for. To him, Dan was the most beautiful person that he's ever laid eyes on. He seemed to be so sweet, and could clearly do so much better then that terrible blind date. "Maybe I could help give you better?" He asked quietly.

Boldly, Dan flashed him a smile. "I'd really like another date," he stated. "But just remember, I can kick your ass if you try to kill me."

But it turns out, Dan wouldn't need to do that. As sweet as Phil was, Dan expected the first date to go like the other ones. But it wasn't anything like them; it was the exact opposite. It started when Phil opened the car door for him, and then opened the restaurant door. He even pulled out Dan's seat at the table and let him sit down before taking a seat himself. He didn't sit there on his phone, and he didn't make any rude comments. Instead, he let Dan choose what he wanted to order and stared at him with a gaze of fondness all while listening to Dan instead of interrupting him when he talked.

And Dan felt nothing but pride when he was able to rub it in PJ's face that he found someone who loved cuddling with him and shoving their face with food together.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for the read broz!! <3


End file.
